Right?
I mean, everybody who works out, goes to bed every evening, having prayed to the WOD gods, and asked for nothing other than the Blessed Burpee to show up on the board the next day, right?
Oh. You either, huh.
Seriously; though we hate it, deep down, we love the burpee. It alone, is a full body workout strengthening everything from your arms to your calves, the muscle groups in between, and the all-knowing core, the burpee is a workout that you feel all over, immediately. I’d dare say the burpee is a holistic workout, that strengthens the physical, mental and spiritual bodies. After all, you have to focus and coordinate this body of yours to get into a proper squat, leap back into a push up position, push up, retract into a squat, then jump into a full limb extension, sealed with an Olympic gymnast reach for the sky. Like this:
And repeat. And repeat. And think about quitting. And repeat. Question your sound decision making abilities. During Rep 4, after revisiting quitting, you will surely call upon your Creator for (what you thought was) the automatic function of breathing. Final rep. You are certain that the coach dismissed counting in preschool, because you could’ve sworn you’d done this 5 times already, and through what seems like a miracle, you make it…
… through Round 1. Six more to go.
You will curse. And repeat.
You’ll go home and google “benefits of the burpee” because you can’t think of not a one. And you’re sore. And you may, or may not dislike your coach. You’ll stumble across all the articles that lay out all the benefits: Total body workout, it’s portable, and you only need yourself, and the will to do them.
You’ll run across that one or two blogs that justify your thoughts of quitting. The ones that say that burpees aren’t good for you, if you’re not military. That you’ll break down your knees. That you probably don’t have the lifestyle that requires you to dodge bullets, and spring back into action. All of this is true. What these articles don’t mention, is that the military-athlete burpee requirements (13 burpees in 20 seconds) isn’t what your coach is going to require. “For Time”, means that you will keep a record of how many burpees you can do in a set amount of time. Because high intensity work out programs, like Crossfit, are numbers driven, you will have a tangible running record of your progress. And if you have a good coach, like Crossfit BMW founder Jarrod Bell, you will have professional guidance on body mechanics, so the chances that you'll injure yourself, are slim.
No, you will not have to dodge a bullet. Yes, you will have improved anaerobic (heart and lung) conditioning. This means you won’t lose your breath so quickly, and your heart won’t be beating through your face. No. You may not have to recover from a tackle and run in a touchdown. Yes, you will have stronger legs and arms.
You will have a nice ass.
Yes.
Every body, loves burpees.